The Fear of Sexual Predation

Michael Wilbon in his column “Sexuality Disclosed, Ignorance Exposed” (Washington Post, 2/8/07) declares that “Just as it would be a relief to arrive at the place in time when the color of the coaches in the Super Bowl matters not one bit, it would be fabulous to reach the day when a male athlete in a team sport doesn't have to worry about the reaction of declaring his homosexuality.”

I agree with Wilbon’s sentiments, but I take issue with his treatment of the comments of two NBA players, Shavlik Randolph and Steven Hunter, which he called “idiotic.” Responding to the recent “news” that John Amaechi had become the first former NBA player to publicly say he's gay, Wilbon relates:

“For instance, the 76ers' Shavlik Randolph, who likes to throw his religious beliefs in everybody's face, is quoted as telling reporters, "As long as you don't bring your gayness on me, I'm fine." And Steven Hunter of the 76ers said: "As long as he don't make any advances toward me, I'm fine with it. As long as he came to play basketball like a man and conducted himself as a good person, I'd be fine with it."

In my view, these players voiced a fear that is common in our culture, that of being sexually preyed upon.

Perhaps the player’s comments do suggest a certain naiveté, for certainly a man who declares his sexual preference, whatever it is, does not make that man rude or predatory. Yet, there is something to the fact that our culture recognizes a need to separate public bathrooms and locker rooms for men and women. Why? In almost every other activity we hold that “separate-but-equal” is not socially or morally justifiable, but separate bath and locker rooms for different genders are not only tolerated, but preferred.

Gays and lesbians challenge us to think about how our social customs help us protect our privacy and manage our need for, and vulnerability to, the sexual desire of others. This makes us all more human. Randolph and Hunter’s fears are unfounded, but they mirror the fears of anyone concerned about protecting their personal space and sexual involvement with others. And that’s not “idiotic.”